An intense pain, an insurmountable agony took over; an unbearable headache, as I clutched my head and cried in grief. With a handful of pain balm I dabbed my forehead and lay down for a while as all turned black…
It must have been a while when I woke up, with the pain still not subsiding. I got dressed, switched off my phone and left it on the desk, grabbed my MP3 player, plugged in the earphones and left home. It was 10:30 at night.
A lonely walk along the empty roads has always acted as a soothing effect to any affliction I ever encountered. The windy breeze calms even the most tormented of minds and leads me to wanderings of distant thoughts. Much has been on my mind lately and it is funny how with a phone full of numbers, I have no one to call and share this afflicted state of mine. I think about the years that have swept by and all the people I’ve encountered and “known”, and yet none who made me feel confident enough to share in my disposition. To be there for others and listen came easy, but when gripped with such state I rarely found a company beside. Thus I have always walked alone, as my phone full of contacts lies at home. I found people difficult to understand; one moment this, another quite altered. They want to be the priority but fail to see the other requires that too in their own time. I wish to find people who would be simple, who realizes this predicament that I face. I battle with too many demons of my own to battle someone else’s, hence all I ever so desired was…
The wind has already cooled down my mind, and the thoughts flow easily now as I make my way though these dark streets, the songs play on in my ear. When I’m out like this, I see how relaxed I can ever be, the nerves calmed down, and it is nothing short of an ecstasy. I sit down on the steps to a closed shop and brood upon my state and existence. I recall Thoreau’s quote “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves” and I realize, this is what I would call as being lost, lost in my endless torrent of thoughts; and I end up with a deeper knowledge of who I have always been.
However much I walk, the roads seem awfully small as I end up nearing my home, yet in no way close to the destination I had hoped for. I ponder again; will tomorrow bring a new contact in my phone which I might end up calling to fight these demons I have a hard time battling? In my ear Avril’s song plays on:
It must have been a while when I woke up, with the pain still not subsiding. I got dressed, switched off my phone and left it on the desk, grabbed my MP3 player, plugged in the earphones and left home. It was 10:30 at night.
A lonely walk along the empty roads has always acted as a soothing effect to any affliction I ever encountered. The windy breeze calms even the most tormented of minds and leads me to wanderings of distant thoughts. Much has been on my mind lately and it is funny how with a phone full of numbers, I have no one to call and share this afflicted state of mine. I think about the years that have swept by and all the people I’ve encountered and “known”, and yet none who made me feel confident enough to share in my disposition. To be there for others and listen came easy, but when gripped with such state I rarely found a company beside. Thus I have always walked alone, as my phone full of contacts lies at home. I found people difficult to understand; one moment this, another quite altered. They want to be the priority but fail to see the other requires that too in their own time. I wish to find people who would be simple, who realizes this predicament that I face. I battle with too many demons of my own to battle someone else’s, hence all I ever so desired was…
The wind has already cooled down my mind, and the thoughts flow easily now as I make my way though these dark streets, the songs play on in my ear. When I’m out like this, I see how relaxed I can ever be, the nerves calmed down, and it is nothing short of an ecstasy. I sit down on the steps to a closed shop and brood upon my state and existence. I recall Thoreau’s quote “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves” and I realize, this is what I would call as being lost, lost in my endless torrent of thoughts; and I end up with a deeper knowledge of who I have always been.
However much I walk, the roads seem awfully small as I end up nearing my home, yet in no way close to the destination I had hoped for. I ponder again; will tomorrow bring a new contact in my phone which I might end up calling to fight these demons I have a hard time battling? In my ear Avril’s song plays on:
"You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you"
Together we stand
I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in
Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you"