Just because I do not socialise much doesn't mean I'm unapproachable. On those rare occasions when a few handful of people reach out and engage even in those smaller conversations with me, I try my best not to mess things up. I might seem awkward when you're talking and you might feel I'm not interested, but there I am noticing not just your words bit also every tiny little detail you never noticed. The way you your eyes sparkle when you talk of things that you love, that faint smile on your lips that linger long after you've finished speaking, the way you brush your hair behind your ears, the way you fidget with your fingers when you do not know how to begin and also how you bite your lips when you say something crazy.
But then, one day when suddenly I notice that slight change, be it in the way you speak, or the change in tone, or I notice you look away when you speak or eager to end our talks, it is then when my mind is abuzz.
You see, when one notices all these details it is more a curse than a blessing, for I shall toss and turn with my mind all dazed, thinking why you suddenly changed and what I, be it remotely or mistakenly, ever did to see that things have changed. For I would have loved nothing more for people to be boldly honest, but here I am always the one left with a sugary lie, wondering why I incessantly notice the smaller subtleties.
But then, one day when suddenly I notice that slight change, be it in the way you speak, or the change in tone, or I notice you look away when you speak or eager to end our talks, it is then when my mind is abuzz.
You see, when one notices all these details it is more a curse than a blessing, for I shall toss and turn with my mind all dazed, thinking why you suddenly changed and what I, be it remotely or mistakenly, ever did to see that things have changed. For I would have loved nothing more for people to be boldly honest, but here I am always the one left with a sugary lie, wondering why I incessantly notice the smaller subtleties.